Buckle yourself down into the sleigh and whip out the eggnog…
It seems like at the beginning of the Christmas season each year more and more people are complaining, “Christmas just keeps creeping up earlier and earlier every year”. Of course they mean ‘creeping up’ in reference to a corporate push to drive consumers into stores all the sooner. I wondered if this was really true so I got an expert opinion on the matter from my grandmother. Apparently everything is just fine. She claims that the infiltration of Christmas is false and that people have been barking about it since Christmas’ conception.
Still, some call it blasphemy to have a Christmas tree up and decorated before the Thanksgiving turkey is even cut. But I say you’re just giving yourself an advantage over the holiday rush and the dreaded Black Friday. Plus, who can deny the splendor and beauty of well-planned Christmas décor? Well this year, before you could utter, “gobble gobble”, my Christmas tree had already gone up in the living room. When putting together music for the holidays, that glowing symbol of Christmas, the Christmas tree, is an inspiring vision.
This year my tree is a 40-dollar, 6.5 foot white Monroe Pine masterpiece of flame retarded plastic. The lights are teal and the tinsel glows an iridescent blue and green. To match the tree’s utter cheapness, I decided to dress it in lowbrow vintage style ornaments. I scoured the selection at Fantastico in SOMA with its plethora of dated holiday ornaments sitting around in dusty bags. This included mice in chambermaid outfits holding copper teapots, plastic Santa heads with billowing beards of cotton, and ceramic bells shaped like plump snowmen.
Though I’m no Christian, I think Christmas is an exciting time of the year: the cold weather, the gluttonous eating, the visits from family members, and the clamoring of gift shopping makes for a thrilling seasonal experience. While I enjoy this annual rigmarole, there are tons of you out there that hate Christmas for all of those exact same reasons.
And yes, it’s that time of year again. Some of you say that during Christmas, nothing seems to be going your way. Maybe your boyfriend just left you. Maybe you just spent a whole week arranging your front lawn North Pole display and some goofy prankster ran off with its centerpiece, Mrs. Claus. Maybe Macy’s just sold out of that limited edition European glass Elf ornament from David Radko that you wanted so badly.
Before long you’re asking yourself, “What’s it all about?” Well first and foremost, just calm down. There is no need to get bugged out at a time of year when a mental breakdown is totally mainstream. Just close your eyes, breathe deep, shake out all of that unnecessary emotional baggage and realize for once that “hey, at least I’m alive”.
Now keep telling yourself that and whatever you do, don’t give in to any religious affiliations that might take pity on a person in your state. They just want your money. Have yourself a glass of cider, a slice of Yule log, and put on Discover A World of Sound’s Christmas mix, Do You Hear What I Hear?
I enjoy Christmas favorites: Paul McCartney jamming out to 'Wonderful Christmastime' on his Polymoog, the ghost of Ella Fitzgerald singing ‘Let It Snow!’ by a toasty fireplace while sipping a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte, the elevator instrumental that is Charlie Brown Christmas, and the hip and detached coolness of The Waitresses’ 'Christmas Wrappings'.
But Do You Hear What I Hear? avoids the never-ending loop of the Walgreen’s Holiday Musak station. In fact I’ve gone to great lengths to make this year’s Christmas mix a fruitcake of a different color. So go ahead, download Do You Hear What I Hear?, pop a Xanax, and chill. Think of this Christmas as a new beginning: a fresh start to the coming year.